Sunday, 14 February 2016

When Love Isn’t Enough: Valentine’s Day Emphasis is Not Even on Pure, Unadulterated Love; but Physical Romance - Reuben Abati

"...It is as if this is the only day meant for love, and the flow of affection is generally understood around here to be from man to woman. The emphasis is not even on pure, unadulterated love; but physical romance. In everything there is a suggestion among the younger generation that a Valentine’s Day expression of love is the truest form of affection, which it is not. 

The overwhelming focus on purchasing power as a measure of love and affection makes it worse. This has resulted in some commentators lamenting that given the economic austerity in the land, Valentine’s Day this year may not be as exciting, because as the common saying goes, “there can be no romance without finance!”. 

In the past, a poem or a letter or a bouquet of flowers would do, but I hear, not anymore. Our new age Nigerian ladies no longer read love letters, nor are they interested in poetry- those forced rhymes and sweet nothings meant to make the heart flutter don’t seem to work anymore. 

These days, I have heard such comments as: “we have not received salary, how man go take do Valentine?” and I have seen a cartoon in which a husband tells his wife that they will be better off spending the whole day in church! It is perhaps more advisable to celebrate Agape, church love than to dig a hole in the pocket and tell stories that touch the heart later. 

I am not against anyone celebrating love, but the desperation, the heartache and the sheer anxiety that now attends Valentine’s Day is a bit over the top. People should not have to borrow or rob a bank to prove that they love a woman. And this whole thing about romantic love is curious. In any relationship at all, physical love is not enough. It takes a lot more to build relationships..."

Read the full article here.

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