ASSERTIVE TRAINING" IS KEY in Communication. Social, Personal, Professional. All aspects of our lives.
How Do you tell your girlfriend / wife "who you love" her food is not sweet? - How do you tell your man "who you love" he's not doing it right in bed - How do you tell your man " who you love" he's lazy and he's not a go getter like the man of your dreams -How do you tell your wife / your girl " who you love" that she needs to go to the gym and she's now overweight - How do you tell your parents "who you love & respect " you're marrying someone -How do you tell your mother-in-law "who your husband" adores that she's nasty to you and that if your food isn't nice why does she always pack 'take away?
You may have noticed the key words " who you love". We go about our daily lives bashing people, correcting people harshly about wrong orders in restaurants, bad service at the gym, or bad customer service at the bank.
If it's so easy for us to lash out at strangers so quickly and so often, why is it so hard to highlight some little things or defaults in our loved ones? Emotions and subjectiveness are guilty of our handicap in telling our loved ones the truth.
Assertive Training is a form of behavior therapy designed to help people stand up for themselves and express their views and thoughts without being rude, crushing the feeling of loved ones or being harsh.
It's very useful in our daily one on one conversation with people and it gives us a sense of self respect and self worth. It's an alternative to aggression, anxiety and manipulative behavior.
One article, journal or therapeutic session is not enough to fully understand the concept of Assertive Training. It will take some time to master and own.
For example ( scenario)
How do you tell your wife her food is bad or tasteless ?
1) Do you really have to tell her? ( you know her like no one does) if your relationship with her is so cordial and open and you've told her worse things without it affecting your relationship then why not say it
2) why can't you carefully come up with a blueprint that will usher her in the direction you want? -cooking channels and tapes - you the husband learning how to cook and teaching her how you want your Efo, Okro or ewedu - careful hints ( I love pepper, I love salt) - when or if she gets it right mistakingly or by fluke inflate her ego by praising her and letting her know this is how you want it everyday