I Don’t Want Other Girls To Make My Past Mistakes – Sunmbo Adeoye
How would you describe meeting your husband?
It is so funny because he had always been my pastor. He is someone I always went to for mentorship, so when he came across as wanting to be my husband, I was a bit scared. Even though I knew I was asking God for a husband, a father, friend and mentor, I did not know it was my pastor that was going to fit in because nobody was praying for his wife to die. When he made his intentions known, I thought maybe if I stayed away from church, he would forget about me. I realised that whenever I stayed away from church, I would lose my peace. I was a committed member of the church as well as the praise team lead.
Then, I started praying and fasting. I began to ask God if it was what He wanted for me. I knew my past and I told God I was going to drop my tall, dark and handsome standard for whatever He wanted for me.
How did he make his intentions known to you?
What we had was a father and daughter relationship. The first thing I noticed was that people close to him were coming closer to me and they would always invite me to be in their midst. I think it was a strategy for them to know me because people were saying a lot of things about me. To so many people who did not know me, I was a club girl and baby mama. I challenged God to rewrite my story and He did because I was just a victim of circumstance. This is me who used to sing in Ebenezer Obey’s church. I was a spiritual daughter of one of his sons, Pastor Lanre Obey. I used to lead praise sessions at Obasanjo’s chapel at Ota, Ogun State. Even when I worked with Intercontinental Bank Plc, I used to lead praise sessions. I knew I had the call of God on my life but unfortunately, I fell in love with someone and instead of me bringing the person into the light, I was dragged into something I never bargained for and I started having babies out of wedlock. I was only a victim of my emotions.
Many will argue that having a second baby is not circumstantial.
That happened because we were in a relationship. I met Tuface when I was a student of Yaba College of Technology. I had just lost my dad and my mum was living in America. For someone who was a daddy’s girl, I needed love. This was the only person that was showing me love at that time. I feel I had that experience so that other young girls would not make the same mistake. I was 24 when I fell pregnant the first time.
When I got pregnant the first time, I approached the pastor of the church I was attending then and he brought me out before the church and judged me. I was asked to go and bring the father of my unborn child so we could be joined together. I brought a different person and we got married at the registry. Everything fell apart when I had a child who looked nothing like him and my mum came back from America to ask who gave my hand out in marriage because she was not a part of it. I had to walk out of the marriage which I arranged by myself. I moved back home and by age 25 I was already a single mum and a divorcee. There was so much shame and reproach.
It got to a point in my life that I felt that the Devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know, so I went back to my baby daddy and his mum talked me into living with him so he won’t have more women and babies. We lived together for three years and that was how the second pregnancy happened.
It was not a bed of roses while I was there because I was trying to put together what was not supposed to be. I think we broke up in 2009 after I had the second baby. There were other women who were also going to have babies for him around that time. I came to my senses like the prodigal son and I was so broken. I think my baby daddy was out of the country that fateful day when I returned from work and I packed all my things plus that of my children, and I went back to my parents’ home.
How would you describe being married to your husband?
It is a privilege that comes with a lot of glory and responsibilities. It also comes with a lot of glamour and commitment. It comes with its own challenges and God has equipped us to handle everything. This is not the Sunmbo that got married to Pastor Adeoye three years ago. I am a better person and I am now refined.